The Importance of Living by Dr. Lin Yutang was once the best-selling book in America in 1938. In this book, he explains why Chinese don’t think it is a big deal to make noises when eating. Read it with a sense of humor:
The Chinese have no prudery about food, or about eating it with gusto. When a Chinese drinks a mouthful of good soup, he gives a hearty smack.
Why do the Westerners talk so softly and look so miserable and decent and respectable at their meals? Most Americans haven’t got the good sense to take a chicken drumstick in their hand and chew it clean, but continue to pretend to play at it with a knife and fork, feeling utterly miserable and afraid to say a thing about it. This is criminal when the chicken is really good.
Such is human psychology that if we don’t express our joy, we soon cease to feel it even, and then follow dyspepsia, melancholia, neurasthenia and all the mental ailments peculiar to the adult life.
Believe it or not, many Chinese never realize they make noises when eating, and the noises often go unnoticed by the fellow diners. There are indeed, however, some basic Chinese table manners to follow. (Photo courtesy of whysb.net)
It is not expressing joy, it is expressing low breeding and lack of concern for others. I have heard pigs make less noise.
“low breeding and lack of concern for others” eh? How about those filthy Westerners always wanting to touch your hands in greeting or God forbid, actually trying to hug. Now that’s low breeding.
Puh-leeze, it’s just cultural differences. Try to be a little less condescending before passing judgment, shall we? In China, if your friend invites you to dinner, making those eating noises shows appreciation for the food. It’s actually rude to eat timidly and without a sound as that suggests you are not a fan of your host’s cooking.
Of course, while in Rome, do as the Romans… Chinese should minimize those noises while eating in American/Western establishments where it is considered rude to dine with such gusto.
You said it all. Thank you for commenting.
Also, foods served on the table are often cut into small pieces in China while westerns tend to recut their pieces of steak or fish into smaller ones. Thus Chinese smack their lips to taste the flavor while it becomes impractical for westerns to to smack when they have to chew a lot.
This is just my wild speculation, but I agree this is totally cultural, irrelevant to the judgment of right or wrong.
I’m sorry but I think their eating habits are disgusting, we were at an American diner recently and they seemed to think it’s fine to spear an entire BLT bagel with a fork and fit as much in their mouth at once as possible! Also went to a Michelin star restaurant at the weekend only to have some chinese bloke next to us slurping an entire plate of linguine up in one disgusting noisy mouthful. Put us right off our (very expensive) dinner. The noise they make eating noodle soup – don’t get me started!
I can imagine how those noisy eaters from China did their food, but they probably didn’t even realize the nuisance at all. For a long time, eating with gusto was regarded as a compliment to the food. Even today, many parents encourage their children to eat ‘like a tiger’, considering how hard it is for toddlers to finish their meals.
I guess as China gradually become more westernized, people will accept the etiquette from the occident. By the way, I am a native Chinese, and next time I visit the U.S., I will try to eat as quietly as possible. I promise.
Let’s not label it merely a matter of etiquette. The sounds are noisy and annoying. A lot of Chinese people make a lot of noise even when eating food that barely needs any chewing. And it’s not just people from Western cultures who find it annoying. The other thing is that a lot of Chinese eating habits are unhygienic, and it being cultural doesn’t make it less so. I have a Chinese friend who I went out to dinner with, and he kept putting his own chopsticks in the bowl with the shared food, even bringing the shared plate up to his face to eat off. I had an awful time.
Chinese are gradually noticing this and now the trend is changing. “Polluting the shared food” is considered bad in China unless people who are sharing are really close. Many meal tables offer shared spoon and chopsticks to avoid saliva contamination.
The etiquette is changing and I am seeing it every day.
I believe there is a time and place for everything. I have a co-worker, who happens to be Chinese, whose eating sounds are so noisy I can hear them 4 cubicles away and they reverberate off the walls. Literally. And he takes 2-3 hours to eat his food over the lunchtime period, at his cubicle, while I’m over here trying to work and not be so distracted by something that puts me into a rage. I’ve done some research about this and why it might bother me so much, and there are some possible explanations such as http://www.hyperacusis.org/page9.html.
Just like it’s improper to wear a lot of perfume in an office because it may bother others physically, or talk loudly in a cubicle to a coworker for 2+ hours, this should be considered offensive and disrespectful as well. I have grown so obsessive about the sound due to its volume and how long it goes on (and I cannot wear headphones, and noise dimming earplugs aren’t strong enough to block the sound!), I feel physically ill to my stomach. But unfortunately it seems like a too sensitive subject to ask managers to discuss it with their employees (like perfume is often brought up to management), or not taken seriously.
My feeling is if it’s part of a person’s culture to eat loudly then at *least* do so in an eating area or please consider that this culture does not find it polite. (And I know of several others who were raised here since birth or childhood who are very noisy open-mouth eaters too).
Anyway, an interesting subject!
Hi, Thank you for commenting on my post. Your noisily eating colleague may making the sound unconsciously. I am sure once he realizes his smack, he will lower it. Maybe you can kindly insinuating your grudge to him? Fortunately or unfortunately, I am never good at handling office politics.
The good news is that more and more Chinese people are eating with less gusto and gradually adapting the western table manners.
The problem is easily solved, basically if these people close their mouth when they chew it would finish…. I sit opposite a very polite Chinese girl at work, everyone likes her very much. She eats at her desk and like OMG she eats like a starved wolf….chew chomp slurp, crack, growl, burp, smack, fart, slurp, lick, chomp, chew, chew chew…..all this noise from such a petite feminine lady. I noticed that she eats with her mouth open which would be responsible for about 80% of the noise pollution leaving her pie hole.
I’d love to tell her but I guess it wouldn’t be the polite thing to do. When she’s in full swing I have to leave my desk and go for a walk, I ‘d rather hear someone scrape their fingernails down a blackboard.
It is funny to read how you describe the noises the lady makes. She probably does not even hear any of her noises at all.
Your observation make me think of how I am disgusted when seeing someone fingering between the toes in public.
I am relieved to see I am not the only person who cannot stand the sound of loud chewing and smacking lips etc. at the workplace. I sit beside a man of Asian descent who eats extremely loudly, and frequently also has food hanging out of his mouth because he eats open mouthed. It makes me feel physically ill to hear the noises. I have tried listening to music on headphones but I can still hear every sound. I try to just leave my desk as soon as he sits down to eat, but sometimes I have work that can’t wait so I have to try and wait it out. He slurps coffee really loudly too. I am usually a tolerant person – I’m sure I have annoying habits, too – but some days I just want to scream at him to be more polite and close his mouth. Knowing now that this is probably a cultural habit helps a bit, but then I guess that means no one in his family will ever let him know how gross his eating habits are. We don’t have cubicle walls in this area of the office so I at least moved my computer to face away from his desk, as the sight of the food hanging out of his mouth was over the top. Thanks for letting me vent!
Sorry to hear about another story about noisy eaters.
I guess it is like listening to water drops from the tap in the dead of the night. Some people will not notice it at all and sleep soundly, but for others the sound kills them. The noise is such that the more you want to ignore it, the more it gets your attention.
I’ll do my part as an English speaking Chinese to tell me compatriots about the western table manners.
I do agree that lip smacking should immediately be stopped and not tolerated..especially at the workplace and especially if the host culture does not tolerate such behavior. There is absolutely no reason to endure a painful experience, so you wont hurt someones feelings. My mother n law is visiting from China and will be staying for another 8 months. I already told my wife that the smaking makes me sick, makes me want to put a sock in her mouth. Wife tries to remind the old lady, but if she forgets the old lady will smack. It will immediately make me sick, disgusted, feel angry and put me into a rage for two days till I calm down and try and forget about it. I try to avoid eating with them and quickly learned NEVER to take her old lady out to a restaurant with us. Thank God my wife doesnt smack but she picks up the bowl of rice, puts the edge on her mouth and shuffles the food in very quicly. I dont understand the rushing movement with the chopsticks coupled with a vacuum sucking from the mouth. Looks and sounds awful. I told her to stop it and she is doing a better job. I am just afraid that our new born will pick of these disgusting habits.
You can tell your wife that culturally you abhor the smacking sound made by your mother-in-law, but sometimes the old people are very stubborn.
Regarding your wife’s shuffling and sucking sound when eating from a bowl, I believe it has a reason if the food is rice or porridge — by using chopsticks to push the food into the mouth, one can avoid the embarrassing moment of dropping the rice on the table. Besides, granules end up on the table instead of in the mouth are considered a big waste in China considering the repeated famines in its history.
Maybe it all boils down to one thing: love your wife and live with your in-laws.
My husband is tolerant guy and recently an Indian guy moved to the spare spare seat next to him. He’s having such a hard time dealing with the guys’ bad eating manners. We live in Glasgow in Scotland and there are a few asian restaurants here but we’ve never experienced such behaviour. Please help in a posible solution: What can we do to get him to calm down without hurting his feelings or making the situation at work unbearable? My husband does not want to raise it with him because it’s too awkward. We’ve thouhgt about picking up a bad habit to annoy him but that’s just silly. Please help with other solutions other than “tell them politely”.
Frankly I don’t have good advice on this. It is just one of the pet peeves of our lives that we try to get by.
I empathize with you as I believe the noise by the Indian guy is as irritating as listening to water dropping from the tap in the dead of night, only you couldn’t even get up and tighten the tap.
Maybe you can send him an anonymous email with some information about eating manners? Still I think the best way is telling him politely that he is bothering you.